Télégramme secret exclusif

En exclusivité, États de la Liberté s’est procuré un document d’un grand intérêt. Ce document illustre le travail d’officiels hauts placés impliqués dans la gestion d’opérations militaires et diplomatiques menées par des grandes puissances pour stabiliser une région tourmentée. Le mot de passe de l’archive confidentielle qui contient ce document étant écrit sur un papier qui a été perdu dans un bus, ce document est publié immédiatement dans son intégralité et en version originale.

In exclusivity, États de la Liberté has obtained a document of great interest. This cable illustrates the work of high-ranking officials involved in the management of military and diplomatic operations that great powers are carrying out to stabilize a tormented region. As the password of the archive that contained this document was written on a paper that was lost on a bus, the document is published immediately, unredacted.

March 28, 3019

S E C R E T SECTION 01 OF 03 ORTHANC 001380
SIPDIS
STATE FOR NEA/IR, NEA/NGA, NEA/ARP, T
E.O. 12958: DECL: 04/27/3025
TAGS: PREL, MARR, IZENG, MRDR,
SUBJECT: (C)
SITUATION REPORT ON ANTI-TERROR AND STABILIZATION OPERATIONS
Classified By: CDA URUG RAVURBARG; REASON 1.4 (B, D).
1.(C) A meeting with high-level Orthanc officials took place on
March 25 to discuss security and stabilization operations, assessing
progress and reviewing priorities. Government of Isengard (GOI)
officers assured that they are "long-term allies", and offered their
input on security.

2.(C) Mouth of Sauron met with Saruman the White (StW)(PLEASE PROTECT)
to discuss the security operations in the Middle Earth. Both parties
agreed that the highest priority remains to deny terrorist to obtain
JMD (Jewelry of Mass Destruction), but that diplomatic isolation is of
almost equal importance. Terrorist must be prevented from obtaining
support from state actors, be they rogue states, dwarwish states or
elvish states.

3.(S) Cooperation in the joint program on Palantir interception has
proved very good, but SIGINT has proved disappointing so far, in good 
part because we happen to control all palantirs in existence ourselves. 
Consequently, emergency programs to develop HUMINT and HOBBINT are in 
under way.

4.(C) The security situation has recently deteriorated in Rohan. The
highest-profile incident was the ambush of a Coalition patrol by
anti-Rohan forces on February 29 near Parth Galen. Report two
detainees in transfer to MNSMRDL for tactical interrogation were
taken from custody by the insurgency. Troops report illegal enemy
combatants attempting rescue operations of illegal enemy orphans and
illegal enemy widows.
StW says in spite of these temporary setbacks, Mordor forces enjoy an
overwhelming superiority in logistics and in air power (Nazgul) and
will inevitably prevail.

5.(C) Press coverage in Rohan has been distinctly unfavorable. Figures
of the opposition use criticism aimed at Grima to sustain a campaign
of virulent anti-mordorism. Editorials in the mainstream press have
claimed that the legitimacy of the government is tainted by
corruption, one-candidate election, and the head of State begin under
magical control of a foreign power. StW (PLEASE PROTECT) agreed to
further efforts to promote Sauron public diplomacy in the Middle
Earth, particularly by underlining the Hobbit threat to the Orcish
way of life; and by pursuing the systematic evisceration of civilians
and magical control of government officials, which GOI call "winning
hearts and minds".

6.(S) While GOI officials are committed to the War on Terror, StW has
cautioned against potential negative effect of our HOBBINT program.
They mentioned extra-judiciary detention and Enhanced Interrogation
Techniques as focus points that may fuel anti-Mordorism. The Mouth of
Sauron statement that detainee Golum was not tortured "at any stretch"
incensed the left-of-center media.
Comment: by current Mordor Government standards, left-of-center
encompasses the following individuals: the entire population of Middle
Earth. End comment.
Particularly stringent criticism has been expressed by partisan
organizations such as Elvish Liberty Guard, Hobbit Freedom Sentinel
and Human Rights Watch. GOI have attempted to tactfully raise the
issue on the matter, but their point was dismissed by MRDR DefSec as
stemming from "Old Isengard".

7.(S) StW reports that insurgency ringleader Gandalf the Grey (GtG)
had attempted to make contacts with GOI officials for diplomatic
openings.
Comment: RINGleader! Ah ah ah! Got it? End comment.
GtG was rebuffed by GOI officials, who cited the "special
relationship" that Isengard enjoy with Mordor. Gandalf was
subsequently put under administrative detention in Orthanc pending
extradition to Mordor, but managed a spectacular escape by air,
despite being on the No-Fly list. 

8.(S) Comment: The current program for the detention of illegal enemy 
combattants is drawing to its limits, as it is beginning to unsettle 
even close allies. We could consider switching to a scheme of targeted
killing to take the most proemient ringleaders (that one never gets 
old) off the map. For instance, an early demise of GtG would cause 
catastrophic breakdown of leadership, organization and morale for 
terrorist cells, as well as to anti-Gondor and anti-Rohan forces, 
whose leadership has proven especially vulnerable. At present time,
nobody seems likely to emerge as a successor for GtG, making a 
targeted killing in this instance a long-term solution. End Comment.
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